How Feedback Loops Can Change Your Life
(Psst! You’re Already Using Them Without Knowing It)
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself needing to step back and see the bigger picture to make sense of... well, anything. I’m kind of obsessed with systems thinking—basically looking at everything as part of a broader whole, like pieces of a puzzle that only make sense when they’re all together. Whether it’s relationships, work, or even just trying to leave the house more often, I need to zoom out and understand how all the moving parts fit together, or else it all starts to feel like chaos. That’s why I love feedback loops. They’re like these little cycles that run everything—guiding our habits, shaping our experiences, and even keeping our bodies in check. And when you start to see how they work, you can actually use them to make life easier.
The concept might sound a little abstract, but feedback loops are everywhere, even in the smallest, most personal parts of your life. They’re the reason you either keep up a habit or drop it, the reason some things stick while others just fizzle out. And once you understand how they work—and how to make them work for you—you can actually start to change those cycles in a way that feels... almost effortless.
So, let me take you on a quick journey into feedback loops, because I think there’s a lot of value in zooming out and seeing how every little action you take connects to something bigger. By understanding and tweaking these loops, you can start shaping your life in a way that doesn’t feel like a struggle. It’s like having a cheat code for your own growth: making the hard things easier, the confusing things clearer, and the chaotic things... well, less chaotic. Let’s get into it… :)
Okay, so “feedback loops” might sound like some science-y concept that belongs in a lab, but honestly, they’re part of every single thing you do. They’re the behind-the-scenes mechanism running so much of your life—from your habits to even how your body functions. Think of a feedback loop like a cycle that helps you decide if something is worth doing again, based on how it felt or worked out the first time.
For example, imagine you try a new workout. If it feels awful and boring, your brain takes that feedback and goes, "Umm, maybe let’s not do that again." If it feels energizing and actually kind of fun, your brain is like, "More of this, please!" That’s a feedback loop at work. It’s how we learn what we like, what we hate, and what we want to repeat or avoid.
The Body and Mind Are Full of Feedback Loops Your body runs on them too—think about when you’re thirsty. Your body’s like, "Hey, we need water!" You drink, and then your body says, "Cool, we’re hydrated now, thanks!" That’s a basic feedback loop. Even your emotions have feedback loops. You get a hug, feel warmth, and that emotion tells your brain: hugs = good.
So, Why Do They Matter for Personal Growth? When it comes to changing your life—like getting out of the house more, trying new things, building better habits—feedback loops are EVERYTHING. Here’s the thing: if your first attempt at something new is horrible, your feedback loop is going to discourage you from trying again. That's why focusing on quality is so important. You want to make that first experience, and every experience after it, as good as possible. That way, the loop encourages you to keep going.
Let’s Apply This to Leaving the House: Say you want to leave the house more often, but you’re someone who usually hates it. It’s not just about leaving the house once and hoping it goes well—you need to plan it in a way that practically guarantees a good experience. Systems thinking comes in here, and it’s basically just a fancy way of saying: think of everything as parts of a bigger picture.
You wouldn’t throw yourself into a giant, crowded festival if you’re not used to being out—because, let’s face it, if that goes badly, it’s going to make you want to stay inside forever. Instead, start smaller: pick a cozy coffee shop, go at a quiet time, maybe bring your favorite book or listen to your go-to playlist on the way. This setup is more likely to give you positive feedback—something like, "Oh, that wasn’t so bad, and I actually kind of enjoyed myself." That positive feedback nudges you to do it again, and before you know it, you’re creating a new habit.
How to Improve Your Feedback Loops
Prep the Environment: Think ahead about what would make an experience good. Want to go for a run but hate being outside when it’s too hot? Run early in the morning or in the evening when it’s cooler. If the environment feels right, the feedback is more likely to be positive.
Reflect on What Worked: After you’ve done something, take a moment to think about how it went. What worked? What didn’t? Was there anything that made it easier? For the next time, you want to do more of what worked well, and tweak anything that didn’t.
Reward Yourself: Your brain loves rewards. It’s how we train ourselves to keep doing something. It doesn’t have to be a big thing—maybe after successfully leaving the house, you treat yourself to your favorite dessert or give yourself a lazy afternoon off. Positive reinforcement makes you more likely to do it again because it ties the action to something you like.
The Cycle is the Key: The magic of feedback loops is that the more often you do this, the more natural it becomes. Each time you do something and get a good result, your brain logs that experience and says, “Yeah, that was good, let’s do it again.” It’s like building momentum for yourself.
Systems thinking means you’re not just looking at one action but everything around it: the preparation, the action itself, and the reflection afterward. Make all those parts work well, and your feedback loop becomes a positive, self-reinforcing cycle. You start looking forward to leaving the house, or running, or whatever it is, because you know it’s going to feel good, not just something you’re forcing yourself to do.
The big takeaway? Feedback loops aren’t just for science—they’re for everyday life. They’re the reason you stick with things or give up on them. If you want to grow or change, you have to make sure the loop wants you to keep going. And that means designing each experience to give you the kind of feedback that’ll motivate you rather than make you retreat.
And if you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy these articles on systems thinking:
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