april ✿
what i watched, read and wrote in april
i can’t believe April is already over. but also, is this what getting older is? just saying “i can’t believe [X] month is already over” every month until you die?
anyway, April was a busy month for me—
i started taking Substack seriously: created a couple new series, wrote lots of essays, connected with new people and finally started exploring a different side of the internet besides 𝕏. oh, and i got my first 10 paying subscribers which sent me over the moon—thank you to all my subs, and welcome if you’re new here ツ
it felt like April was all about tariffs, which let me be frank: was so f*cking boring. i actually spent a ton of time away from social media because of how bland that discourse was—not to mention, everyone was an econ expert lol OK
my favorite thing from 𝕏 this month was probably all the dad bod discourse. i know a lot of people were raging but i think it’s funny to see the internet divided over something so seemingly stupid—plus it’s way more fun than listening to more armchair experts tell me about what tariffs are doing to the stock market. online life was better back in March when everything was ghibli, sigh
on a personal note, i took my dogs on a little beach vacation. Kimpton hotels are dog-friendly and they have one near the dog beach in Huntington (CA) so we did a quick overnight trip. the dogs got to roll around in the sand and drag kelp along the shore. good times were had by all
i don’t spend a ton of time watching TV these days, but a few shows i like came back in April—
Black Mirror season 7: i wasn’t too crazy about it so far… only made it through the first 2 episodes, but rotten tomatoes scores seem to indicate people are liking this season
Handmaids Tale season 6: also kind of a boring season imo—it’s turned into more of a background show for me. 57% on rotten tomatoes, kinda rough for the final season
The Last of Us season 2: ummmm i did not see that second episode coming—i won’t spoil it in case you haven’t watched yet, but holy smokes… that was Game of Thrones level shocking to me. other than that, not sure how into this season i am… rotten tomatoes audience score is currently at a 69% so i guess the people agree it’s sort of meh
Hacks season 4: okay, i loved this first season and then kind of forgot about it because the second season got a little boring, but i was sick last month and needed something to keep my eyes busy while i was dying in bed so i picked up where i’d ditched it and i ended up fully reinvesting. season 4 dropped April 10th and i think it might be one of my favorite shows?? it definitely toes the line between woke sometimes, but overall i think they do a pretty good job of depicting the current cultural pulse. so far, season 4 has a 98% on rotten tomatoes
i’m really good at starting 10 books before i finish one… this month was no different. honestly, i like reading multiple books at once because you find connections i think you’d otherwise miss
currently on my nightstand:
Alexander Karp (co-founder and CEO of Palantir) and Zamiska argue that the West, particularly the U.S., has shifted from a period where technological innovation was driven by national purpose to one dominated by consumerism and trivial pursuits. they highlight how the tech industry’s focus on apps and entertainment has led to a neglect of critical areas like national security and infrastructure. they emphasize the need for a renewed partnership between government and the tech sector to address pressing challenges, especially in the realm of AI and cybersecurity. it get’s into the cultural and ideological shifts that have led to the current state of complacency, urging a return to values that prioritize collective progress
Homer’s Iliad is more than just a war story—it’s a meditation on rage, honor, ego, and what it means to be remembered. it opens mid-conflict, not with origins but with achilles refusing to fight, and from there unspools a brutal portrait of male pride and divine meddling. it’s full of gods behaving badly, men dying beautifully, and women being traded like prizes. (this sent me down an entire Bronze Age collapse rabbit hole, which i’m sure i’ll write more about soon)
Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead opens like a punch to the ego. i’m only five chapters in (yes, i know, i still haven’t finished it) and it’s already clear this isn’t just a novel, it’s a manifesto disguised as fiction. Howard Roark—the main character—is basically allergic to conformity, which resonates so deeply with me. expelled from architecture school for refusing to copy classical styles, he’s building on principle, not popularity. every interaction is laced with this tension between creators and critics, originals and opportunists. i’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that she wrote this book 82 years ago… eighty two years ago—insane
Cal Newport’s Deep Work is a field guide for anyone sick of feeling like their brain is being eaten by tabs, notifications, and endless scrolling (me, lately). it makes the case that focus is a rare and valuable currency, and that the ability to do deep, uninterrupted work is what separates high-impact thinkers from the noise (near-future-me, hopefully). i’m only a few chapters in, but it’s already clear this isn’t just hustle porn—it’s about cultivating a kind of mental discipline that most people have lost (me, again). he draws a sharp line between shallow tasks and the kind of focused intensity that actually moves the needle… and it doesn’t come across as too preachy
this book is massive—like, brick-sized—so i didn’t read it cover to cover in a straight line. i went nonlinear with this one, skimming and diving deeper wherever the threads pulled me. what struck me most was how obsessed he was with becoming good. not famous, not rich—just good. he failed constantly, burned bridges, begged for money, broke down and ended up in an asylum—but he kept painting. kept writing. the level of self-analysis in his letters is unreal. this book doesn’t romanticize him, it just lays it all out—how unbearable he could be, how misunderstood, and how brutally committed he was to translating feeling into form. overall, this story is a tragic and heartbreaking one, but somehow left me feeling inspired to also try to be good
i actually wrote a rabbit hole entry about Van Gogh because i was so fascinated by his story as i was reading it —
the madness, the wheatfields, and the heartbreak of Vincent van Gogh
Today's rabbit hole started with a very personal kind of panic: I'm in my mid-thirties and have a birthday coming up next month, and sometimes I get hit with the feeling that I should have "figured it out" by now—that whatever "my thing" is, it should already be happening. I’ve been reading a book about Vincent Van Gogh’s life, so when I learned that he didn't even seriously pick up a paintbrush until he was almost 30, it resonated with the panic and shook something up inside of me. A much-needed perspective shift. There's still time. There's still room to stumble around and find the thing that “sets my soul on fire” as they say.
i’m trying to share more vulnerable and personal stories, rather than just things i’m learning or researching—i wanted a place to just stop by daily and share feelings, notes, poems, etc., so i started a couple of new series :)
one is called “pretty little things”—these aren’t meant to be polished pieces; i’m treating them more like daily (or every-other-day) diary entries. a kind of mental aesthetics, if you will. pretty pictures i found or created, paired with prose from my journal or poems that were resonating with me, lines from books that grabbed my attention, musings, moods and vibes—things like that
pretty little things from 4.29.25
the sky looks like it holds a secret—that hour where blue melts into blush, and the palms stretch like soft exclamation points against the hush of early night. the moon is small and bold, rising with…
the second series i started is “thoughts from down the rabbit hole”, where i’ll post my random daily adventures—just me following my curiosities wherever they might lead. there’s no genre or niche on purpose. some days i might explore quantum physics, another day i might track down the origin story of a common phrase i like, or maybe i have to know which presidents had the best, most exotic pets. i honestly just wanted a place to share the fun, and sometimes insane, facts or details i end up discovering throughout the day
if you have any recommendations for topics, ideas or rando things you’d like me to explore, feel free to drop them in my inbox. like i said, there’s no genre or niche on purpose and no corner of the internet is off limits (well, you know, except the disgusting stuff)
anyway, that’s it for April. i had a great month, but i’m looking forward to May because i kind of live for the summer and this brings us one month closer to the best season. plus, it’s my birthday at the end of the month, and i’ve always enjoyed using may as a way to reflect about my next trip around the sun—it’s nice to do a little soul searching and introspecting… set some new goals and all that jazz
i hope your May is filled with inner-peace and delivers something special—you deserve it! xo
